Reviewed Couple Group Therapy Course

Session 01 — Connection, Safety & Knowing Each Other

Opening tone: Warm, normalising, low-pressure. Many couples will be anxious.
Critical first task: Establish group agreements before any content. Use the following:

"Confidentiality: what you share in this group stays in this group."

"Privacy: couple activities are private — you are never asked to share with other couples."

"Right to pass: no one is ever required to share anything they are not comfortable sharing."

"Respect: all relationship structures and all personal backgrounds are equally welcomed here."

Ask participants to confirm these agreements verbally or in chat.

Core content: BCT evidence base → Gottman Sound Relationship House → Love Maps → DAS baseline
Activity: Love Map questions (private workbook exercise — no sharing)
Facilitator watch-fors:

Any couple appearing significantly distressed at baseline DAS scores — note for follow-up

Domestic violence signals: any comments suggesting fear, coercive control — activate safeguarding protocol immediately

Participants who are very quiet — not a problem; honour it but monitor

Facilitator language: "There are no wrong answers in this group. And there is nothing broken about needing a space to do this work."

Opening: Brief homework check — "Did anyone try noticing and naming three appreciations this week? What happened?" Do not require sharing; invite it.
Core content: CBCT triangle → Attribution science → Behavioural Exchange → SMART goals
Activity: Individual goal-setting, then (optionally) couple goal comparison (private)
Facilitator watch-fors:

Couples with very different satisfaction levels — one partner may score high, one low. This is common; normalise it explicitly: "Often one partner feels the relationship is okay and the other is in significant distress. Both experiences are valid and both are important data."

Negative attribution patterns disclosed in discussion — validate and gently introduce alternative attribution frame without dismissing felt experience

Key teaching moment: Attribution style is not a character flaw — it is a learned cognitive pattern that can change.

Opening: Homework check — BE task. Keep brief. Celebrate any engagement.
Core content: Speaker-Listener Technique → XYZ formula → Softened start-up
Demonstration: Model SLT live — either with co-facilitator or using an example dialogue. Participants watch, then practise privately.
Activity: XYZ rewriting exercise (private)

Facilitator watch-fors:
Participants who resist SLT ("it feels artificial") — validate and normalise: "All new skills feel artificial at first. The goal is that eventually it becomes natural. Right now, artificial structure is better than natural escalation."

Participants who intellectualise communication rather than engage emotionally — gently redirect toward feeling language

Key teaching moment: The difference between a complaint and a criticism is not about tone — it is about target. Complaints target behaviours; criticisms target character.

Opening: SLT debrief — what did participants notice? Keep light and curious.
Core content: Four Horsemen → Antidotes → Physiological flooding → Active listening
Facilitator note: Contempt can be a safeguarding indicator if extreme. Monitor.
Activity: Horseman self-identification (private)

Facilitator watch-fors:
Participants who disclose severe contempt patterns in their relationship — normalise learning the antidote without minimising impact; consider private check-in

Flooding: some participants may experience flooding during the session itself if discussing conflict triggers them. Notice non-verbal distress signals.

Key teaching moment: Stonewalling is almost always self-protection, not cruelty. Communicate this carefully — it validates the stonewaller AND gives the partner a non-blaming frame.

Opening: Four Horsemen check — which antidote did anyone try? What happened?
Core content: Gottman trust → ATTUNE model → Novaco anger in couples → Emotional safety
Activity: ATTUNE commitment planning (private)

Facilitator watch-fors:
Anger disclosures — any physical dimension to anger must be assessed. Activate safeguarding protocol if domestic violence suspected.

Participants discussing significant trust breaches (discovered infidelity, deception) — this session may be activating. Have crisis resource ready.

Key teaching moment: Trust is not rebuilt in one conversation. It is rebuilt through thousands of consistent small moments. Emphasise the daily practice nature of ATTUNE.

Opening: ATTUNE debrief — informal check-in.
Core content: Family-of-origin blueprint → Differentiation → Triangulation → We-ness
Activity: Family blueprint exercise (private)

Facilitator watch-fors:
Childhood abuse disclosures — treat carefully; do not explore in group; have private follow-up plan

Severe family enmeshment (e.g., in-law interference causing significant distress) — validate and provide practical tools; avoid pathologising family members not present

Key teaching moment: Understanding family-of-origin patterns is not blame — not of parents, not of self, not of partner. It is archaeology. It informs; it does not determine.

Opening: Rituals of connection — did anyone establish one? Brief, celebratory.
Core content: Gordon & Baucom model → REACH → Self-forgiveness → Repair initiation
Facilitator note: This session is the most emotionally activating. Go slowly. Allow silence. Do not rush pauses.
Activity: Unsent forgiveness letter (private — explicitly not to be shared with partner or group)

Facilitator watch-fors:
Significant disclosures of infidelity, betrayal — this session may activate these. The group format is not appropriate for processing acute betrayal trauma. Offer private referral.

Participants who have difficulty accessing forgiveness — do not push. Validate: "Forgiveness is not a destination you reach once. It is a direction. Some days you're closer; some days further. That is human."

Key teaching moment: Forgiveness is not for the person who hurt you. It is for your own psychological freedom. This reframe often unlocks something significant.

Opening: Forgiveness reflection — what did the letter exercise bring up? Keep very brief and optional.
Core content: Multidimensional intimacy → Attachment and sexuality → Basson model → Sexual communication
Facilitator note: Normalise diversity of experience. Some couples may not be sexually active; some may have significant sexual difficulties; some may be in excellent sexual health. All are in the right session.
Activity: Intimacy map (private — multi-dimensional rating)

Facilitator watch-fors:
Sexual trauma disclosures — acknowledge carefully; do not explore in group; offer private follow-up; recommend specialist referral if indicated

Couples with significant desire discrepancy — normalise this explicitly ("desire discrepancy is almost universal in long-term relationships")

Key teaching moment: Responsive desire is not low libido. It is a different desire style — equally valid, equally workable. This normalisation is often transformative.

Opening: Hold Me Tight moment debrief — what did anyone try?
Core content: Sensate Focus principles → PLISSIT model → 5-step protocol → Mindful touch
Facilitator note: Deliver this session with the same clinical calm you'd use for any evidence-based psychoeducation. Your ease with the content gives participants permission to engage without shame.
Activity: Sensate Focus planning (couple agreement in workbook — private)

Facilitator watch-fors:
Participants with significant psychosexual difficulties (vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, pain disorders) — PLISSIT Level 3 begins to address these; Level 4 referral pathway should be discussed privately

Participants who disengage or seem embarrassed — normalise: "It can feel odd to discuss this in a group. That is entirely normal. The clinical evidence is very clear that it helps."

Key teaching moment: Sensate Focus works by removing the goal, not adding something new. This counterintuitive reversal of performance anxiety is its mechanism.

Opening: Sensate Focus debrief — how did Step 1 go? Brief, gentle, normalising of any experience.
Core content: Maintenance science → High-risk situations → Magic 5 Hours → Relationship vision
Activity: 30-day plan + 12-month letter to self
Closing ceremony: Brief acknowledgement of the journey. Do not over-celebrate (some couples have more work to do). But do mark the completion.

Facilitator closing script:
"You began this programme ten sessions ago. You chose to invest in your relationship — to show up, to do the work between sessions, to sit with discomfort and keep going. That is not small. The skills you've practised here are yours. They don't expire. What does expire is the motivation to use them — which is why your Maintenance Plan matters. Use it. Come back to your workbook in three months and check in with yourself. And if you hit a difficult patch — and you will, because all relationships do — know that coming back to these tools is not a sign of failure. It's the sign of a couple who knows what works."

Post-programme: Offer booster session option at 3 months (60 minutes, group or individual couple format).